Some time last week I stumbled across the Facebook profiles of the girls who used to call me "horse face" back in high school. I sat for a while, just staring at their photos, remembering the times when one would push me into the wall in the corridors, or the times when the others would delibarately exclude me from conversations, or the times they'd make fun of the way I looked. They made it their job to make me feel miserable about myself. On some occasions they'd convince me into thinking they really wanted me to be their friend, but I'd soon realise, most times a little too late, it was just another one of their ploys to make me look silly or feel sad.
I was a shy bookworm back then, loved my books. My eyebrows were as thick as caterpillars though, but I was happy. My siblings were my best friends. I was well-behaved and I did my best to bring home good grades. I disliked any form of confrontation, and I tried to stay away from people who were likely to cause it. I guess to these girls, all these qualites were that of a weakling, and they tormented me for it.
For a while I kept these ordeals to myself. I'd cry myself to sleep, and in the morning put on a happy face for my family, just so I don't worry them. Eventually it got too much, my mum began noticing differences in the way I behaved. I became depressed, stopped eating and lost a lot of weight. I was agitated most of the time and I hardly engaged in family activities as I once used to. One weekend, she called me to her side and asked me what was going on, she questioned me about everything, and after much probing I broke down into a flurry of tears and told her what I had been going through the past two years. She held me so close and comforted me and promised me that I'd be okay. She called a meeting the next week at school, with the principal and families of these girls. They learnt that what they'd been doing was wrong and they needed to stop. They did stop, not immediately, but eventually.
Through counselling, and the love I recieved from home, I learned to love and appreciate myself. I learned that if I believed in myself, no-one could argue with that. People started to notice changes, as I regained my confidence. I became my happy self once again, and I vowed to never let another person make me feel bad about myself.
When the time came for me to stop my stalking and close my browser, I couldn't help but smile. These girls gave me a hard time back then, but those hard times played a part in making me who I am today. I'm a stronger person, and I am confident in who I am.
Through counselling, and the love I recieved from home, I learned to love and appreciate myself. I learned that if I believed in myself, no-one could argue with that. People started to notice changes, as I regained my confidence. I became my happy self once again, and I vowed to never let another person make me feel bad about myself.
When the time came for me to stop my stalking and close my browser, I couldn't help but smile. These girls gave me a hard time back then, but those hard times played a part in making me who I am today. I'm a stronger person, and I am confident in who I am.
If you're being bullied, don't lose hope, it WILL pass. Confide in your loved ones, let them know what's going on and they will help you. Most importantly, be strong. Accept no-ones definition of your life, but define yourself. There is a tomorrow, and that tomorrow will come. That tomorrow you'll be sitting and marvelling at the person you've become, chuckling to yourself "Where are they now?".
..xo
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
If you're going through a similar thing and need to talk, i'm here. :)
Send me an e-mail. xo
79 Comments:
You're amazing and I really admire you for being able to stay strong because so many children just quit.
i can so identify with this! i was awkward, tall, boobless etc (and still am really!) and i got bullied/excluded for that. but due to not fitting in, i found other talents i had, became a stronger person too and developed a sense of humour.
so... thank you to my bullies! lol
lovely post from a lovely person!
xxx
What an inspiring post. I would never have thought you was bullied in school. It's great to have such a supportive tight-knit family x
Such an inspiring post! Family are always the best in these situations. And look where you are now, a well known-respected blog great fashion blog, confident, and very pretty! :)
Shope
http://londonscloset.blogspot,com
xoxo
Don't think I've ever commented before even though I read your blog religiously. This is such a wonderful post Shirley. I'm glad you managed to come out on the other side stronger and more confident in yourself. Thank you for writing this so other people can gain the courage to do the same. Lots of love
Great post, i hate bullies!!
xx
Very touching post, you are a beautiful person, sincere to who you are and me and the other thousands of people reading it can feel it through every inches of your blog.
Keep your lovely smile and thank you for sharing this part of your history with us! :)
Lovely how you can open up like this Shirley and look how far you've come!
Greater things to come :)
http://lipstickboudoir.blogspot.com/
such an amazing post
i hate it when other girls feel insecure about themselves and try to deal with it by making others feel inferior . its just wrong xx
this is a brilliant post, im so glad you overcame the bullies. you were cute as a kid by the way and often bullying is just plain old jealousy. thanks for writing this x
Great post Shirley!!
I definitely can relate. Being and army brat, I was always the "new girl" and because I looked a certain way, I wasn't always accepted. It hurt the way some of the kids acted back then but it made me stronger.
It's funny because one of the girls, recently tried to add me as a friendon facebook. NOT accepted. LOL But did look at her pics and she's....well, no comment. LOL
Thanks for sharing your story...you may be helping someone that is going through that right now.
you are WONDERFUL !!!
love the post :)
xx
www.simplebutreal.com
I can identify with this cause I was also picked on in primary school, but look at us now!!! We can hold our heads high cause we have turned out to be well balanced young ladies with so much going for us. I an many others think you great, just the way you are! Love Sia x
That was truly inspiring for a girl who's been bullied! Definitely a way to lift the spirits, thank you x
What a really fantastic positive post. It's really nice of you to share these kind of experiences and show that they can be overcome. I had a horrible time in school but it got a lot better and I think it does for most people but it really is horrible at the time you can never see things getting better, you just have to find your place I guess :) xx
Wow, you just gave me so much strength. Thank you. <3
"Accept no-ones definition of your life, but define yourself"
<3<3<3
Thank you so much for sharing this Shirley - I went through the same thing at school and like you, once I told my mum what was happening she called a meeting at the school and the bullying eventually stopped..
I have two babies now and the thought of them being bullied makes my heart break, so I'm just hoping that if it does happen, they know they can confide in me and I will do all I can to make it stop.
Well done for beating your confidence issues - I know myself that it takes a lot of time and effort (I still haven't quite got there yet) - you're proof that bullies don't (and shouldn't) win!
xo
What a touching and inspiring post. I hope others who are going through similar confide in loves ones about what they're going through.
You're a lovely, gorgeous young lady who those idiots who bullied you could learn a thing or three from. Keep smiling beautiful xx
This post is so beautiful and inspiring. So glad you came through your ordeal so positively rather than the opposite.
Follow my new blog and help me get it up and running!
Love Rose xxx
roseesprit.blogspot.com
I didn't think it was possible to love you anymore than I already did.
You amaze me Shirley B Eniang <3
lovely post. I went through the same thing and I must say it turned me into the person I am today. I do find it funny when I encounter my 'former bullies', I seem to be much more content than they are :)
Amazing Post.
Hey hun, such a lovely post! I hope this will inspire others who are going through something similar.
Bullies clearly have nothing better to do & are not happy with their lives to be treating others like that. You're a lovely young lady & seems like it has made you really strong! xx
I love and appreciate your honesty.
I recently wrote about a dilemma I ran into when a boy who used to harass me in school set me a face book request.
I wonder if these people even remember the torment they caused.
Happy you turned out to be the person you are... an inspiration.
Caroline www.beauty-full.net
it's funny to watch the tables turn.. im sure if they all saw this blog now they would be extremley envious!
You should be extremley proud of yourself! :-)
What a beautiful post! I just recently talked to one of my childhood friends and we were recalling events of elementary school. Just like you, I was bullied.
I was a huge tomboy and used to wear my younger brother's clothes (instead of "hand-me-down's", I sadly was adorn with "hand-me-up's"...I was extremely skinny and we were not as well-off as we are today, so to save money my mom would dress me with his clothes instead). So you can imagine the amount of torture I had to go through at school since I didn't look like the other girls.
It's good to know I wasn't the only one who had to go through such an experience. But we're stronger more now than ever BECAUSE of the circumstances. And honestly, if you were to look back at those bullies---most of them are nobodies today. Most of them never grow out of their old habits. They're miserable and insecure...and if anything, we ought to pity those kinds of ppl. Thanks for sharing your story, really touching :)
I really loved this post , it was so hard to read through & NOT cry- very touching! ur such a sweetheart. <3
Wow i was called exactly the same thing in high school 'horse face, horsey' etc! I had two big front teeth also which didnt help and then eventually braces!
This is a great post and if anyone who is feeling this way currently needs help or inspiration they should def understand that things change and things always get better :o)
This is an Amazing post and I admire your courage to share this to help other people going through such situations! xoxo
http://www.mzbs-closet.blogspot.com
wow such a touching post. It really spoke to me as a reader. You are inspiring many young girls.
I love the Eleanor Roosevelt quote, I need to put that up somewhere in my room.
p.s. I LOVE the thick brows :)
I loved the post :)
http://lwig-lookwhatigot.blogspot.com/
Really inspiring Shirls!
Kids are really terrible- I went through the same thing but with boys and i'm happy that you've come through this a stronger and positive young lady!
xxx
Loved the post, if only those bullies could see you now!
http://allthingsrachy.blogspot.com/
Great post! I almost everyone in their life can identify with these problems. I know I can. I love how you opened up to your readers in this post!
xoxo
Jazz
I went through a similar experience with mean girls when I was growing up. I'm glad you overcame. & you were (and are) beautiful. x
omG I would have never known that someone as beautiful as you, inside and out, could have ever been picked but I guess every butterfly has its day.
I go through finding my confidence on a daily basis. I am overweight and let's just say, its hard to find that place of happiness on my outer apprearance. I am however making the steps to getting healthy and getting my physical apprearance together.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You dont know how this made me feel. I guess I am not alone:)
Primary school is evil, I can really relate. And look at you now!! you've evolved into this beautiful person, with an amazing and inspiring ambition. You're such an inspiration, being the humble and courageous person you are, you're a sole example of how your child hood encounters and predicaments can turn you into a stronger and wiser individual as you get older. Such a touching post, you had me in tears :').
Stay blessed xx
When I first found your videos on youtube, i was so excited cause i thought YES someone who has the same facial features as me and she on YOUTUBE.I never would of imagine you were bullied. I actually thought you were probably one of the popular kids. I have been down that same round as you girl, its def tough. But with God all things are possible. I've run into some of the girls who were bullies when i was in JHS and HS and man most of them look so old and run down. (lived a hard life) I just look at them and think I guess Karma finally met up with them.
Thanks for sharing your story
That was me tooo!!!! I didn't get called horseface but the girls were still vicious. I got called pregnant, fat, ugly, and one girl had the nerve to tell me that I would look better as a guy, the hottest boy (at that time in middle-school) said I was the ugliest girl he'd ever seen!!!!!!!!!! :-O <--Yes I agree, shocking isn't?!?! lol but now my boyfriend always says that if I were ever to go back to my old hometown all of their mouths would drop and roll across the ground cause I'm more confident and I let my beauty shine through!
It's true, I have Christ in my life, I walk with my head held high and shoulders back,I'm smart, I have a great personality, I lost weight, grew in some curves, and I like my face (my boyfriend loves my face). lol,.... what more can be said. hhahaa
Thanks for sharing!
God bless!
That quote by eleanor roosevelt has been one of my favourites for many years. When I was much younger and in the first two years of secondary school, I experianced much of the same of what you've described, girls deminishing you inside and out yet somehow latching onto you. Weak people often need to feed on someone else's misery to not feel as bad about themselves. But until they deal with their insecurities they will remain weak people but you are in no means weak. For overcoming that misery your so much bigger than they ever could be. Like you have done, you just have to thank the people that have tried to bring you down because their responsible for you being immune to any negativity or judgement from anyone who isnt you. I think your beautiful and your smile is amazing and and think its wonderful that you've shared that with everyone xxx
you really are quite inspirational Shirley, this post is beautifully written and so touching. I am proud to know you hun xo
I can relate to this post so much! Thank you so much for sharing this - it made me feel so much better.
I've been bullied - pretty much all my life. I was called 'fat', 'ugly' 'geek' for ages! People even took the mickey out of the shoes are wore and whatnot! I've had really low confidence for years! I still hate confrontation and I'm still quite shy (I blame the bullying!) but I've definitely come out of my shell since I was 18!
Thank you once again for this lovely post xxx I'm so glad you came out it, the confident young woman you are today :D xxx
Wow. Thanks for sharing, Shirley. I was definitely teased in school as well, about my forehead mostly. It's still mentioned even now here & there but I just choose not to let it affect me too much. I've realized that God made me for a special purpose & I should embrace the young lady I am. I admire you & your family for pushing through and becoming the beautiful person you are today =)
You're great Shirley!
*Schweets
You're such a strong, amazing person - I'd never have believed you were bullied! I guess the jokes on them, this has made you stronger! Really inspiring, helping me with some things I'm going through right now. Thank you xxx
awww such a lovely post! I hate bullies but what goes around comes around, I went through a similar thing as a child and understand how awful it is xx
very very very cute!!!
this post is fantastic!
follow u =D
xx
Ive been there, its so hard and you are just being yourself and you dont understand what it is about you that makes these girls want to say and do those horrible things to you. My bullying lasted about three years, during high school, worst time of my life.
fastforward to today, my bullies are massively overweight and do not have much going on in their lives( i facebook stalk as well)
i should send them a thank you card because they made me a stronger person and i know that that they bullied me because i was not like them and they did not understand me.
BE YOURSELF! YOU ARE NOT WEIRD, YOU ARE LIMITED EDITION!!
such a lovely post. no one deserves to be made to feel that way and I hope this inspires others going through anything similar. xx
aww cute pic you still look the same:)
This is a great post xx
This is Lovely Shirley thanks for sharing.
As soon as I saw the picture, I knew what you would discuss and I admire you for tackling an issue as sensitive as bullying on your blog.
You're right, people like that can only make you stronger and family really are the best support system...I went through similar things in highschool and its weird to find that someone else out there did too. I was actually gonna do a BLEURGH about it, likening highschool to the realm of blogging and cyber-bullying that occurs behind the screen of Anonymous commentors...I will definitely link this.
Xisses, Onyxsta
http://say-bleurgh.blogspot.com
I've been there and was very insecure for a really long time. I'm glad you felt need to discuss this because so many young people go through it and most don't know how to handle it. Confiding in someone else and letting them know the situation is a big step.
I really admire you for this.
This was a great post. I went to the same thing though sadly my tormentors are either in jail, pregnant at 21 with their 4th kid, or past away.. smh
I know now that they were only a product of their environment or past experience so the past doesn't bother me too much but its definitely taught me how to spot an abuser "3 blocks and around the corner" away
Shirley! Your school picture so cute :-)
You look the same to me still gorgeous.
I'm glad you can look back on it and be thankful of the lesson you learn from those hard times. I think every female has been picked on about something. My moma told me this when I was little and I kept in mind everyday.
"There will always be people that will talk about you especially when you are doing great things because they are jealous. People that pick on other hate something about themselves and feel the need to make others miserable like they are. Remember that God made you and God dont make no mistakes baby, you're beautiful and special and dont let any one bring you down.
:-)
good post..
those people bullied you but you have the most striking features and they make you look very pretty!! these will be the same people who will see you now and want act pally as if nothing occured..
anyways you've moved on and are doing good things.
www.lollihearts.co.uk
x x
Lovely post. I think everyone has been touched in some form by bullying. Some are bullied and some are bullies. Also the severity of the bullying varies. But it shapes the person, sometimes for the better as you have said. This post is so lovely in that it shows your resilience in recovery. The best thing is to go on to do amazing things!
M - Even Artichokes Have Hearts ♥
THat was a great post, I guess these difficult things happen to mold you into the excellent blogger/fashionista that you are today. Thats the best way to look at it. All of us have a story to tell about someone that has attempted to make us "feel" smaller than we are..
Laurely
laurelyspice.blogspot.com
That was inspiring.
Great post!! I could certainly relate to your experiences! Very inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
~Toria
http://bonafidestyle.blogspot.com
Beautiful post Shirley! Just look at you now LoL.
www.sheaintnodiva.com
I don't know why they would call you a "horse face". To me you look like a typical young girl at that age....much like myself. Kids can be quite cruel. I had a similar experience...which stopped quickly (thanks to my mom and the school). I ran into my bully several years later while I was out with some friends and was surprised that she even recognized me (she was acting as if we were long lost friends). Truly and utterly, WEIRD!!! I was polite...but that's as far as it went. Let's just say what goes around comes around....KARMA's a B****!!!
Shirley I always thought you were a wonderful person; strong, bubbly and happy but this has made me respect you so much more. I'm sorry you had to experience such hardship at a young age but bullying is pathetic. I'm so happy to see you find the silver lining in the experience; it shows such maturity and positivity, I'm literally touched! You're a definite inspiration so thank you. xxx
Very well put and sincere. And I think you're simply gorgeous and your happiness and love for your family definitely shines through to your blog.
Hi (:
I can relate not b/c I was really bullied, but I had some "friends" that were so mean to me, laughing about me in my back, and I could see in their eyes that I was nothing but rubbish I can say...
And until today, I see them (we are not close anymore) and I feel inferior, I feel like I need to impress them, I feel like I need to hear them say how great I am (lol), but I can't seem to get over it. I don't let anyone else make me feel bad, but facing those girls (even if I pretend I don't care), I always feel kind of inferior =(
I've never been "shy" but they broke my confidence at some point and since then I'm giving too much importance to what people will think about me, and it's tiring!
But I'm on my way to change that =D
Thanks for this post!
hello there,
relatively new reader, here. this was an awesome post. awesome.
i wish every teenager could read it.
i had a very similar experience in middle school. a group of girls put me through hell. i remember it being a weekly ordeal. they would be mad at me on monday. i would eventually "win them over" by friday (or at least i thought i did) and then when i went back to school on monday, they all hated me again. i remember being so confused. wondering if they had planned a way to torture me every week.
thanks for sharing your story, gorgeous! :)
I love your post!! I went through the same situation since I was in the 7th grade. It hurt so much that I started eating very little and I was always angry. My family and friends helped me out and now, I am happy. I am amazed at your confidence and style; I would have never thought you were bullied. Take care!! :D
I love this post I definitely can relate I had an identical experience in Junior High and most of elementary eyebrows and all. It just proves with the love and support of loved ones your inner beauty will shine through for everyone to see :)
Firstly, you were gorgeous in high school. Some girls just don't know what to look for. Secondly, if bloglovin' had a "LOVE" button, I'd certainly click it!
this is the loveliest blog post i have ever read.
we hardly experience bullying experiences in Nigeria but we watch and read about it and know the effects it can have on the life of a child.
u are indeed strong to have gone through it and emerged the way you are.
i am sure everyone of your followers reading this post is very proud of you.
keep it up
Shirley, your so beautiful. You truly are, inside and out.
Glad I found your channel and blog.
As I said before, I feel like I know you. Your just so humble and nice...and funny..your youtube bloppers get me Laughing out loud!
Wow what a heartfelt posting!...You all of a sudden because much more human to me. Sometimes we look at you bloggers like "Wow she is living the life" but I too went through the same ordeal and so I was totally moved by your story!
Firstly thank you for sharing that,as a beauty guru young girls look up to you and lovely for them to have good role models. I too was bullied at school, though now I've grown up and into my features it was them who added me on facebook,and they can stalk away because I'm successful and confident and that's the best non-violent way to get your own back on them. I realise now they picked on me because they were jealous :-) For anyone being bullied there's light at the end of the tunnel :-) xx
Just jumping on the bandwagon to say beautiful post. I can totally relate and agree with everything you stated. Not to get biblical but whenever I bump into old meanies on fb, I can only smh and smile... "He prepareth a table before thine enemies". Not that they are literally your enemies but you get the point. Rock on Shirley! 3beye ye! (if you can't read Akan, it says, "it will be well!")
AWWW! I LOVE!!!!
awww we love you :)
Thank you so much for this Shirley! I think I need to reflect on many of the negative experiences I had in elementary to high school...!
for someone so young, you are very wise… i can say that i wasn't bullied when i was in school, but i was stalked by a psychotic boy in middle and high school, right into college. living with that kind of terror on a daily basis is enough to scar a person for life, and truthfully, i am JUST dealing with it… and somedays i have to go on a joke website to make it through the day… i really appreciate this video and blog post, i am so happy that someone has addressed the issue of abuse, be it bullying or stalking of any kind. i wish there were more open forums to openly discuss these happenings and ways to hash it out, until it no longer runs through your mind... blessings <3